I wish that during the next 3 weeks will restore all my energy as I am worn out by life.

I have been STRESSED! I just wrote my last high school finals exam paper today. Finals lasted for 3 weeks and even though I was really easy going with them, I stressed. I haven't slept much, haven't seen people that much, haven't even had time to take a shower some days. That's how stressed I am. Otherwise too I'm mentally just... tiered. I need a holiday. Therefore I booked tickets to Turkey with my cousin for 2 weeks leaving in a few days. It's been a big hassle talking this over with my family but I need a holiday, I wont care what anyone says now, I'm going. 

I just wanna lie on the beach, phone switched off, nothing on my mind; no worries, no stress, nothing to do. Just me with my cousin lying on the beach in peace with no planning ahead. Taking one day at a time. I can't wait! It will be amazing, I just have to watch how much money I plan on using since I am kinda broke now =D

One aim of my holiday is also for me to be able to just be with God as well. I have been going through some stuff with him and I'd like to take care off basically, and yea I've been busy lately so I just wanna take time out and spend time with him too. <3 It will be amazing. I'm positive!! I'll return a new fresh person!!!

I wish I had long hair! (WAIT: I Can Have Long Hair, whenever I want! So can you!!)

I'll get straight to the point, it takes ages for hair to grow and by the time its long enough, its probably in bad condition and doesn't look that amazing. And besides, its hard looking at your hair going thought the growing process and not being able to do anything to it. I have a solution!!! Good news, get hair extensions! I wish someone had told me this a little earlier. When you think of hair extensions you think of these 'things' that you stick in your hair that end up ruining hair and all that. I've heard of sooo many horror stories until my friend got clip-in hair extensions. I tried them on and fell in love. I ordered hair extensions for pretty expensive from luxyhair.com and they were amazing, soft, natural and there was lots of hair in the pack (120g) I didn't use all the hair at once ever. They are very easy to put on and take off for the night. Took me like 5 minutes to put them on eventually. I haven't used them for quite a while and since summer is coming, I think I'll start using them again. 

I found a cheaper alternative though. I thought I'd sell my extensions which are in quite good condition still to a friend and order new ones from luxstyle.dk. They are just 55€ without any shipping as far as I know. People have given very good feed back so far so I think I'll get them. They are a bit of a smaller pack with 80g of hair but I don't need that much hair so whatever. Its a super easy way to get long hair fast and its extremely natural. The hair is real human hair and feels really soft and amazing. It could be considered cheating a bit but whatever, I loved the hair. One tip tho if you get extensions, don't wash them until necessary. They stay clean for a long time and I washed them sooner than necessary meaning I washed the good hair care products on the hair out meaning it tangles up easier =D This can of course be fixed with serum but yea. I was at least a very happy with the long hair and I think anyone would be. They blend it with really short hair and bit of longer hair so that's not a problem. =) 

I Wish I Felt More Comfortable Smiling

I have always thought that I can't smile showing my teeth cuz i think it looks stupid when I do so. I just smile like :) When I went to model school I got forced to smile showing my teeth and it was... not nice, I felt really awkward as the guy took photos of me. Anyways, recently I have started not minding that much. I've even allowed a few people to take a few photos of me smiling like =D and I gotta admit they weren't bad at all. So I hope I get over that completely and start feeling comfortable with my smile.

Someone once told me never to say a smile is ugly or say anything negative about someones smile no matter how weird it may look, cuz a smile is beautiful. And I agree with that guy, at least now I do! A true smile is the most beautiful thing ever. Personally I have always thought that the best photos of me are the ones where I look sad, but I'm glad that I'm starting to like the happy ones too! C'moon just look at the two photos here, which one would you rather see?

I wish I had brown eyes...

We are never satisfied are we? Those who have curly hair want straight hair and those who have straight hair want curly hair, those who have blue eyes want brown eyes and those who have brown eyes want blue eyes, and so on. I have heard statements like these loads of times and I'm sure you have too. And yeah, unfortunately now you will hear it again, I want chocolate brown eyes. They are naturally just prettier. But then again brown eyes are so common since its the dominant gene that passes on brown eyes while the blue eyes gene is recessive. Yes, I know some biology. =D I have blue eyes and have wanted brown eyes for my whole life basically. 

When I think about it though, if I could get brown eyes permanently right now if I wanted to, I don't think I'd do it. In loads of places around the world people look at blue eyes and admire them because they are so rare. So yeah, I should be thankful. Even though I ended up in the conclusion that I would rather keep my blue eyes, I will never stop admiring brown eyes. There is just something about brown eyes. Today I wore dark brown contacts and I liked seeing myself with them even though they were a bit unnatural. It's a nice change but I have to admit I liked seeing my own blue eyes again once I took them off. 

I wish happiness wasn't taken for granted.

I very much dislike seeing people who don't appreciate happiness. I mean if you see it in them that they really don't care. In moments like that I find myself thinking, haven't they ever learnt anything about sadness? Like anything? I'm not too comfortable talking about this but I've gone through times when the feeling of happiness had eventually disappeared completely. Lets just say when you don't feel happiness at all when you laugh, smile, something nice happens, it's gonna be your only wish that you could feel even a tiny little bit happiness again. Trust me I know and its horrible. After a few months I felt a tiny bit of happiness and I was scared to go sleep in case I would wake up in the morning and not be happy anymore.

So my point is that somehow I feel like something should happen to all of us in order for us to appreciate happiness but somehow I just think 'God forbid anyone should go through anything negative if they don't have to'. I know we have all gone through rough times but for it to be so bad that you miss the feeling of happiness and make it your only wish, it's sometimes hard to talk and relate with people who haven't had to go through so much. I don't know, it's complicated. Those of you who have gone through something similar will know what I'm talking about. So yeah, those of you who don't, appreciate happiness and never take it for granted because your happiness can be taken away from you when you least expect it.

I wish I learned to appreciate the people around me more

I have realized that I don't appreciate my loved ones the way I should. Any day, at any moment, I could lose a loved one and I know I would feel terrible because I haven't appreciated them the way I should have. I have lately tried to apply it to my life: 'live everyday like it was your last'... or more like the other persons last. It's helped me become more loving towards others and made me realize them more. But believe me there is still a lot to be done! :D And I think that we shouldn't only appreciate our loved ones, no, but also the people around us we barely notice most of the time. It means a lot already just realizing someone by saying hey. 

We don't really tend to notice problems and realize how important someone is to us until a problem arises after which were all of a sudden so caring. I think it should be self-evident that we value the people around us and are unconditionally loving and caring. As I'm writing this I got a phone call where I once again realized how I haven't really noticed the hard times my loved ones are going through and haven't really been there for them. So yea, I really wish I'd start appreciating the people around me in general way more, weather it's my own family member or a random person on the street. And I will work on that! =)

I wish I never gain weight and will always be able to call myself thin.

Personal topic to talk about but here goes. I'll be honest, my appearance is like the most important thing to me. I think a big part of my life I have wished I was thinner because 'someone' used to tell me continuously to be careful 'you're getting fat', but honestly I would never do anything about it. I like food too much!! =D Either way I just wish I never start gaining weight. I like what I am now and yea... I'd rather loose some than gain some. ='D When I think about it, I think the reason I think this way is because I feel like no one ever comments or compliments me in any other way but 'hey I like what you look like today' or something about my appearance. No one really ever says 'hey you're really good at that' or realizes me in any other way so yea.

I honestly think a woman should have curves and is way more beautiful that way, but as for me, I wanna stay they way I am. 

When I look at photos like these two, I get so determined to run off to the gym or start working out. My dad once asked me what I'd do if I gained 5 more kilos and I was like 'Noooo way'. Then I thought about it and I think I wouldn't be happy at all and I don't know how I would react honestly. I have heard lots of 'Hey, you are not fat' speeches in my life and I don't think I am. I'm actually tall and thin and was one of the only girls who was told not to loose weight in model school. So yea, I just feel that its important to me that I can look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. 

I sometimes wish I didn't have to live in this world anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I have a good life. The best family ever, loving boyfriend, good friends... life is good with me. But sometimes like today, nothing is really wrong but I somehow just feel like all my strength is gone and I wanna leave and go to heaven already ( no i'm not suicidal). I am a christian yes. I thought of this blog post as I listened to a Finnish song that sang about heaven and the song speaks for itself. So yea,  here goes:

I sometimes wonder if there's something more,

something that I cannot understand.

Is there a kingdom of heaven somewhere,

there where people cannot see,

cannot see.

Tell me there's a heaven out there somewhere,

tell me there's no dying over there.

Tell me there's a heaven out there somewhere,

tell me that's where Jesus lives.

In heaven nobody will ask for papers,

and no one asks what club we belong to.

There's no not need to think and ponder,

what relationships should we up hold.

There will not be tears any longer,

There we wont have to rely on lies.

There is just a group of lost people,

Which were brought back home,

brought back home.

Tell me there's heaven out there somewhere,

Tell me there's no dying over there.

Tell me there's heaven out there somewhere,

Tell me that's where Jesus lives.

The text written in bold is what makes my heart feel warm. That's what I believe my destination to be. It sounds so good that I sometimes wish I was there already. I don't know if i'm the only one but I sometimes think I can't wait to be in that place. And I believe that God had assured me that that's my destination. I don't know about you but I'm atleast happy I know where I'm going! <3

I wish I was a dancer in a musicals (Nine: Be Italian)

I love dancing. Everyone who knows the slightest thing about me knows that I love dancing. I also like musicals... well the interesting ones at least. I watched the musical 'Nine' like a year ago and I have been in love with the choreography for 'Be Italian' by Fergie ever since! If you know me, don't judge me after watching the dance below, I just can't help loving it. And yes, I would love to be a dancer in that, not the main dancer but someone else... It would be fun! The stage, the costumes, the sand, the chairs, the amount of dancers, the song, the actual choreography! <3 

I wouldn't mind being in other dance shows in general as well but something like this looks really interesting. Maybe a bit more clothes on but otherwise... this... You get the point! =)