'This too shall come to pass'

My life is not great right now. I feel like I'm fine and I say it out loud so I don't need to admit to myself that I feel like I will fall at any second. I don't know if it's just the moment or if this is something I need to get over with time. I have so many decisions I need to make as soon as possible, I have to do a lot of course work for university, I feel like I am letting go of certain people in my life I don't want to but feel like I have to. I want to be strong and resilient and not admit that I've been hurt this time. Perhaps its because I've always tried to be strong so its like the hit that finally knocks you a bit? I feel like I try and say out loud how I'm happy with how everything turned out and this is the way I planned it as I'm afraid to admit this is not what I wanted at all. I don't think I ever knew what I wanted to begin with tho so who knows. I feel like I'm running away from my problems quite literally but I don't know if I should just stand and face them this time. I think I'll choose the first option...

This song came up randomly on my youtube and it hit me somewhere where all those feelings I just wrote above came out. I didn't plan this post or try write it nicely or get lovely photos. Just the song and my feelings in the simplest way possible and a bit sugarcoatedly. Couldn't even be bothered to stick to my I wish titles this time, sorry about that. :) If I had to come up with something I guess it would be something in the lines of 'I wish this little part of my big life would be over already and I would feel like normal happy me again!' I just thought 'This too shall come to pass' would express more what I feel like now and how I try look at the positives... even tho I really don't. You know what I mean, no more lying to myself! :D

I wish I could escape life.

Life is hectic sometimes. For me that sometimes is now so I would like to take the easy way out and escape from life. Oh if it only were that simple. I'm at the end of my first year of university so I'm in this horrible situation of having to pick who to live with out of 3 people who pretty much think/expect they are going to live with me and I basically feel like I'm being pulled in every direction at the crossroads. And the feeling of knowing that whatever I do, is going to hurt someone is the worst feeling ever. I'm hating my life right now. On top of that I sent my mother today the messages I was supposed to send my cousin complaining about my life which didn't make my stress any better (except I realized what a loving mom I had in a completely new way which was very nice). On top of all this I have a politics and social work essay to write as well as eventually start studying for my up-coming exams (lowest priority right now). Oh someone just take me away from this world for a bit PLEASE! I know it will sort it's self out eventually but until then couldn't I just disappear somewhere far far away? Sigh...