I wish that during the next 3 weeks will restore all my energy as I am worn out by life.

I have been STRESSED! I just wrote my last high school finals exam paper today. Finals lasted for 3 weeks and even though I was really easy going with them, I stressed. I haven't slept much, haven't seen people that much, haven't even had time to take a shower some days. That's how stressed I am. Otherwise too I'm mentally just... tiered. I need a holiday. Therefore I booked tickets to Turkey with my cousin for 2 weeks leaving in a few days. It's been a big hassle talking this over with my family but I need a holiday, I wont care what anyone says now, I'm going. 

I just wanna lie on the beach, phone switched off, nothing on my mind; no worries, no stress, nothing to do. Just me with my cousin lying on the beach in peace with no planning ahead. Taking one day at a time. I can't wait! It will be amazing, I just have to watch how much money I plan on using since I am kinda broke now =D

One aim of my holiday is also for me to be able to just be with God as well. I have been going through some stuff with him and I'd like to take care off basically, and yea I've been busy lately so I just wanna take time out and spend time with him too. <3 It will be amazing. I'm positive!! I'll return a new fresh person!!!

I wish I had long hair! (WAIT: I Can Have Long Hair, whenever I want! So can you!!)

I'll get straight to the point, it takes ages for hair to grow and by the time its long enough, its probably in bad condition and doesn't look that amazing. And besides, its hard looking at your hair going thought the growing process and not being able to do anything to it. I have a solution!!! Good news, get hair extensions! I wish someone had told me this a little earlier. When you think of hair extensions you think of these 'things' that you stick in your hair that end up ruining hair and all that. I've heard of sooo many horror stories until my friend got clip-in hair extensions. I tried them on and fell in love. I ordered hair extensions for pretty expensive from luxyhair.com and they were amazing, soft, natural and there was lots of hair in the pack (120g) I didn't use all the hair at once ever. They are very easy to put on and take off for the night. Took me like 5 minutes to put them on eventually. I haven't used them for quite a while and since summer is coming, I think I'll start using them again. 

I found a cheaper alternative though. I thought I'd sell my extensions which are in quite good condition still to a friend and order new ones from luxstyle.dk. They are just 55€ without any shipping as far as I know. People have given very good feed back so far so I think I'll get them. They are a bit of a smaller pack with 80g of hair but I don't need that much hair so whatever. Its a super easy way to get long hair fast and its extremely natural. The hair is real human hair and feels really soft and amazing. It could be considered cheating a bit but whatever, I loved the hair. One tip tho if you get extensions, don't wash them until necessary. They stay clean for a long time and I washed them sooner than necessary meaning I washed the good hair care products on the hair out meaning it tangles up easier =D This can of course be fixed with serum but yea. I was at least a very happy with the long hair and I think anyone would be. They blend it with really short hair and bit of longer hair so that's not a problem. =) 

I Wish I Felt More Comfortable Smiling

I have always thought that I can't smile showing my teeth cuz i think it looks stupid when I do so. I just smile like :) When I went to model school I got forced to smile showing my teeth and it was... not nice, I felt really awkward as the guy took photos of me. Anyways, recently I have started not minding that much. I've even allowed a few people to take a few photos of me smiling like =D and I gotta admit they weren't bad at all. So I hope I get over that completely and start feeling comfortable with my smile.

Someone once told me never to say a smile is ugly or say anything negative about someones smile no matter how weird it may look, cuz a smile is beautiful. And I agree with that guy, at least now I do! A true smile is the most beautiful thing ever. Personally I have always thought that the best photos of me are the ones where I look sad, but I'm glad that I'm starting to like the happy ones too! C'moon just look at the two photos here, which one would you rather see?

I wish I had brown eyes...

We are never satisfied are we? Those who have curly hair want straight hair and those who have straight hair want curly hair, those who have blue eyes want brown eyes and those who have brown eyes want blue eyes, and so on. I have heard statements like these loads of times and I'm sure you have too. And yeah, unfortunately now you will hear it again, I want chocolate brown eyes. They are naturally just prettier. But then again brown eyes are so common since its the dominant gene that passes on brown eyes while the blue eyes gene is recessive. Yes, I know some biology. =D I have blue eyes and have wanted brown eyes for my whole life basically. 

When I think about it though, if I could get brown eyes permanently right now if I wanted to, I don't think I'd do it. In loads of places around the world people look at blue eyes and admire them because they are so rare. So yeah, I should be thankful. Even though I ended up in the conclusion that I would rather keep my blue eyes, I will never stop admiring brown eyes. There is just something about brown eyes. Today I wore dark brown contacts and I liked seeing myself with them even though they were a bit unnatural. It's a nice change but I have to admit I liked seeing my own blue eyes again once I took them off. 

I wish happiness wasn't taken for granted.

I very much dislike seeing people who don't appreciate happiness. I mean if you see it in them that they really don't care. In moments like that I find myself thinking, haven't they ever learnt anything about sadness? Like anything? I'm not too comfortable talking about this but I've gone through times when the feeling of happiness had eventually disappeared completely. Lets just say when you don't feel happiness at all when you laugh, smile, something nice happens, it's gonna be your only wish that you could feel even a tiny little bit happiness again. Trust me I know and its horrible. After a few months I felt a tiny bit of happiness and I was scared to go sleep in case I would wake up in the morning and not be happy anymore.

So my point is that somehow I feel like something should happen to all of us in order for us to appreciate happiness but somehow I just think 'God forbid anyone should go through anything negative if they don't have to'. I know we have all gone through rough times but for it to be so bad that you miss the feeling of happiness and make it your only wish, it's sometimes hard to talk and relate with people who haven't had to go through so much. I don't know, it's complicated. Those of you who have gone through something similar will know what I'm talking about. So yeah, those of you who don't, appreciate happiness and never take it for granted because your happiness can be taken away from you when you least expect it.

I wish I learned to appreciate the people around me more

I have realized that I don't appreciate my loved ones the way I should. Any day, at any moment, I could lose a loved one and I know I would feel terrible because I haven't appreciated them the way I should have. I have lately tried to apply it to my life: 'live everyday like it was your last'... or more like the other persons last. It's helped me become more loving towards others and made me realize them more. But believe me there is still a lot to be done! :D And I think that we shouldn't only appreciate our loved ones, no, but also the people around us we barely notice most of the time. It means a lot already just realizing someone by saying hey. 

We don't really tend to notice problems and realize how important someone is to us until a problem arises after which were all of a sudden so caring. I think it should be self-evident that we value the people around us and are unconditionally loving and caring. As I'm writing this I got a phone call where I once again realized how I haven't really noticed the hard times my loved ones are going through and haven't really been there for them. So yea, I really wish I'd start appreciating the people around me in general way more, weather it's my own family member or a random person on the street. And I will work on that! =)

I wish I never gain weight and will always be able to call myself thin.

Personal topic to talk about but here goes. I'll be honest, my appearance is like the most important thing to me. I think a big part of my life I have wished I was thinner because 'someone' used to tell me continuously to be careful 'you're getting fat', but honestly I would never do anything about it. I like food too much!! =D Either way I just wish I never start gaining weight. I like what I am now and yea... I'd rather loose some than gain some. ='D When I think about it, I think the reason I think this way is because I feel like no one ever comments or compliments me in any other way but 'hey I like what you look like today' or something about my appearance. No one really ever says 'hey you're really good at that' or realizes me in any other way so yea.

I honestly think a woman should have curves and is way more beautiful that way, but as for me, I wanna stay they way I am. 

When I look at photos like these two, I get so determined to run off to the gym or start working out. My dad once asked me what I'd do if I gained 5 more kilos and I was like 'Noooo way'. Then I thought about it and I think I wouldn't be happy at all and I don't know how I would react honestly. I have heard lots of 'Hey, you are not fat' speeches in my life and I don't think I am. I'm actually tall and thin and was one of the only girls who was told not to loose weight in model school. So yea, I just feel that its important to me that I can look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. 

I sometimes wish I didn't have to live in this world anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I have a good life. The best family ever, loving boyfriend, good friends... life is good with me. But sometimes like today, nothing is really wrong but I somehow just feel like all my strength is gone and I wanna leave and go to heaven already ( no i'm not suicidal). I am a christian yes. I thought of this blog post as I listened to a Finnish song that sang about heaven and the song speaks for itself. So yea,  here goes:

I sometimes wonder if there's something more,

something that I cannot understand.

Is there a kingdom of heaven somewhere,

there where people cannot see,

cannot see.

Tell me there's a heaven out there somewhere,

tell me there's no dying over there.

Tell me there's a heaven out there somewhere,

tell me that's where Jesus lives.

In heaven nobody will ask for papers,

and no one asks what club we belong to.

There's no not need to think and ponder,

what relationships should we up hold.

There will not be tears any longer,

There we wont have to rely on lies.

There is just a group of lost people,

Which were brought back home,

brought back home.

Tell me there's heaven out there somewhere,

Tell me there's no dying over there.

Tell me there's heaven out there somewhere,

Tell me that's where Jesus lives.

The text written in bold is what makes my heart feel warm. That's what I believe my destination to be. It sounds so good that I sometimes wish I was there already. I don't know if i'm the only one but I sometimes think I can't wait to be in that place. And I believe that God had assured me that that's my destination. I don't know about you but I'm atleast happy I know where I'm going! <3

I wish I was a dancer in a musicals (Nine: Be Italian)

I love dancing. Everyone who knows the slightest thing about me knows that I love dancing. I also like musicals... well the interesting ones at least. I watched the musical 'Nine' like a year ago and I have been in love with the choreography for 'Be Italian' by Fergie ever since! If you know me, don't judge me after watching the dance below, I just can't help loving it. And yes, I would love to be a dancer in that, not the main dancer but someone else... It would be fun! The stage, the costumes, the sand, the chairs, the amount of dancers, the song, the actual choreography! <3 

I wouldn't mind being in other dance shows in general as well but something like this looks really interesting. Maybe a bit more clothes on but otherwise... this... You get the point! =) 

I wish shopping malls had mini cars or something!

I went to Poland for about 2½ days to go shopping. Lets just say my legs are as good as amputated. Every step I took after the first day was PAIN, lets not even discuss the last days. Why can't they have mini golf carts or something to move around with? The shopping malls there were huge! On our last day we went to the biggest shopping center around and it took us the entire day to go through all the shops on all the floors. To top that we got lost when the shopping center closed at 21.00 and had to walk extra much to find our way out. I'm sure i'm not the only one who thought about this and I've thought about it tons of times since I think i'm a bit of a shopaholic but - Mini cars to huge shopping malls!!!

'Because when I shop, the world gets better'

Even though my feet are dead, lets just say it was so worth it! I did not know it was possible to shop that much! We woke up early and shopped from sunrise to sunset when the shops closed basically. And lets clear this, we are not rich, it is just so damn cheap there! I bought 2pairs of heels, 2summer shoes, like 5 sets of earrings <3, tons of clothes, perfume, nail polish, baby clothes (I'm an aunt now!) and other stuff. ='D To explain how cheap stuff was, I bought heels for about 6€ and the other one pair was about 8€. Usually heels cost like... 40-50€ on the cheap end. So yea... I'm not gonna go shopping for the next few months and that's a promise I HAVE to make to myself, I'm pretty much broke and I have lots of stuff now =) Lets end this with: everyone, go to Poland. Its cheap and a in general a really nice place and yea, I really wish they had those mini cars in those huge malls. 

I wish I was a make-up artist!

Not as an career, no. But it would be awesome to be really good at putting make up on my self just as other people and making all these really cool designs. And just for the hell of it when i'm going out, I could make some bigger make up which is not too fancy but just different without completely messing it up! I have watched lots of make up tutorials and stuff just to watch people doing the make up and I enjoy it. I get days when I just fool around with my make up and then wash it off but to be honest I'm not that good at it. ='D It's fun tho! And that's all that matters, right? 

The make up I find most important is the eyes. The eyebrows are a must for everyday but the actual eye make up... oh so much can be done. Look at the photo above and below. I chose them because it has so much detail, you can see like 4 colors mixed and then the design with the eyeliner especially on the top one. I think it looks just amazing! I would love to learn to do something like this!! Maybe I'll try one day when I get bored, but I think it would be awesome to go to some course where i'd get ideas and tips on different styles of make up. Above all it would be super fun! Maybe I will one day, you never know. =) 

I wish people would love this song as much as I do =)

I heard this song in my friends car today and then came home and listened to it so many times that I'm already getting a little bit tired of it. Except I think I can never get sick of this. If I could sing and play the piano better I would learn to play this and then sing it over and over. Of course alone tho. Heh... =) I liked it from the very first time I heard it and I hope others would too!

Otherwise on WHATS GOING ON IN MY LIFE right now, I'm having my final exams in about a week and a half and I haven't studied at all yet! I've been having study break for about 2½ weeks now and I have just been lazy and I need to get enough points to get into the university I applied for. I seriously hate studying and have 0 motivation. I forced my self to read biology the other day. I sat there for about 3-4 hours and read about 3/4 of a page and day dreamed the rest of the time. I'm in big trouble and if motivation doesn't soon come to me, looks like I'm gonna be sitting a year waiting for a retake on the exams. What am I gonna do? =(

I wish they still had drive-in movies!

Why don't they have drive-in movies anymore??? In old movies you see couples driving to a place outside where there is a movie been played on some random wall and then you sit on top of the car hood and watch it. I think it would be so cool if they still had those and i'd definitely go! I think i'd rather go with my boyfriend to one of those than some random restaurant for dinner. But then again, it would have to be warm and in Finland its pretty much light outside 24-7 during the summers. 

Despite that I think it would be an awesome idea to have those drive-in movies. If they still have those in some part of the world, I wanna know. And if I happen to go to a country where they have those, I'm going and I don't care how much it costs!! And I hope I'll have my boyfriend and a car on top of which I can sit with me then too!

   

I wish I will be a Social Worker one day and love it!

I've never really wanted a specific career but I decided 3 years ago as I moved to Finland that I want to be a social worker. Perhaps it's the amount of people I know here in Finland who have had random problems what should have been done something about when they were younger that influenced my choice... I don't really know. Every year I just want it more, lets put it that way =) SO YES... I applied to a few places in Scotland to study sociology and social work but I really wanted to just get into one of the universities to study social work. And as I waited for replies, of course it was the last university that replied after the long wait and then wanted a interview and then some random essays and criminal records etc... and after all that, I GOT IN!!! So looks like I'm going to be moving to Scotland in September to study to become a social worker then!

One problem, what if I don't like it or feel like I cant mentally deal with it? I think it will be just fine and yes many people have told me that its a challenging job mentally and the work comes home with you everyday and yea... but its the only thing I have ever really wanted so yea. And whatever career I end up having I want it to have something to do with helping people directly. I wanna know I spent my life helping out others when I grow old so sounds like this could be the right place for me. After a year of studying I have my first work experience so... I guess latest by then I will know, for now I will just hope I'm making the right choice. No, I know I'm making the right choice. And yes, I will end up liking the job, I have decided. Yes, yes I will. 

I wish I never grow wisdom teeth!!!

Seriously God forbid I ever grow wisdom teeth! I have a very bad dentist phobia... I go crazy days before, I hate hate hate it. When I was a kid I had to sit for hours in the dentist chair since we got to go only once a year to dentist when we came to Finland for holidays (Gambia didn't really have good dentists). I always had lots of cavities since I ate loads of candy which didn't make it any better for me. I dreaded the idea of being in the dentist so much that I actually bit the dentist by 'accident'...? I'm ashamed to admit that I wasn't even that young anymore and my mother had to pull me kicking and screaming in to the dentist room. =D

Now that I've moved to Finland, I hadn't gone to the dentist in years since there was no need to go and no way I'm going there just for the hell of it. My 18th birthday was coming up so I had to go to the dentist because after that Its not free anymore; turned out I had a few cavities and I needed root canal treatment. It was a NIGHTMARE. The dentist told me I'm the most difficult patient she ever had to deal with and thought we should have many short times rather than a few long ones. I had about 9 times within 2 months. The last cavity was on the top at the back and she couldn't even begin to do anything without me starting to move around so ya,... she told me to come check it out after this summer so I hope its not worse off by then, yay!

I don't really know why I'm so frightened of the dentist tho, probably cuz I had to go so much as a kid. Every time I come from the dentist I just feel brutally molested or something. I'm always in the need of a hug for ages. I just hate everything about the dentist, the noise, the smell, the machinery, the dentist her self!... plus I gag every time she sticks something in to my mouth... EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH IT!! Now you probably understand my worst night mare: Wisdom Teeth. Just No. Today I felt as if two of them are starting to grow on the top of my mouth. There are two little bumps that hurt when I touch them so great. All I can hope is that it wont bother me if they grow so I can avoid the dentist suggesting that she should remove them =(

I wish I could travel to all the continents before I die... except Antarctica :)

I love travelling more than anything. My family moved to The Gambia from Finland when I was 5years old meaning that we traveled every summer back and forth with a few detours on the way between the countries. I got so used to traveling that it's very hard for me to stay in one country without traveling for a year. Even after we moved back to Finland a few years ago, it hasn't stopped me traveling every year a few times somewhere. 

As for countries I have so far been to, here goes. I've traveled all around Europe; Finland, Sweden, Spain, England, Holland, Belgium, Poland, Ireland, Greece and Estonia at least, and in Africa I've been to The Gambia, Senegal and the Cape Verde Islands. In Asia, I've been to Turkey recently, and as a child I've been to Israel which I don't really remember. I haven't been to America or Australia at all. And yeah, I'd never go to Antarctica even though penguins would be pretty cool to see. 

I love beaches, shopping, seeing new places, fountains, lights and big cities. I think it would be really cool to see a few wonders of the world like Petra in Jordan for instance too =). In the future random places I'd wanna go to are; Australia, Jordan, Singapore, Thailand, South Africa, Israel again (maybe), Germany, Dubai, Italy... to name a few... too many countries to think about!!! As for America, I've said I don't wanna go there but honestly... I wouldn't mind seeing New York and Los Angeles and maybe Brazil and perhaps even Mexico. I'm probably moving to Scotland in half a year to study as well so ... Yay =) 

I wish I could save a life one day...

There is a million ways you can practically 'save a life'. Little things can have big effects. Think about it, by donating like 2€ to red cross or some other organisation could help in saving somebody's life, donate blood and you've just saved a life, been there as a listener for someone going through a tough time could prevent them from taking their own life and you wouldn't even know it! There's a million ways. I'm sure all of us have played some kinda role in making someones life better or perhaps even saving a life, but I would love to do something bigger. I'd love to know that hey, I just helped that person take a grip on life again or I just turned that persons life around to the better side. It would be an amazing feeling. 

One feeling I'm pretty sure no one would wanna have is knowing you could have done something, and knowing you can't anymore. For instance thinking that your friend takes their own life and you could have been there and stayed up with them all night but you weren't. I think that would be terrible. It would be awesome to know that you gave someone hope in life again or you where the person who changed their life for the better. I don't hope for a situation like that for anyone, but if there was a situation like that, I really wouldn't mind being there for them. 

Another thing is that people are so uptight and 'i don't care about other people' often, no offence if you fall into this category. But reality is that we can't make it alone in this world. There I said it. And I found an amazing photo (the one above), which says it better than a thousand words. Sometimes we just need someone to be there for us and turn that hourglass once again and we just cant do it alone. So start looking out for other people more I guess. =) 

I wish I'll be able to adopt a child someday!

I've never really wanted a child of my own or a child at all actually. BUT; as I've grown older, I've come to the conclusion that perhaps it would be nice to have a child someday. :) ONE THING THOUGH, Why bring a child into this world when there are millions of children in desperate need for a home? I've always thought this way and I always will. Adopting is so expensive in so many countries though which sucks. It should be cheaper so that people who want to adopt could have the chance to if they aren't exactly rich. But hopefully one day when i'm married and we decide to have a child with my future husband (if we do!!!), we will have enough money to afford adoption. 

I've talked about 'me one day in the future when i'm way older wanting to adopt', to some people and I was surprised about how many of then where like 'no way I'd ever adopt, I'd want my own child.' I thought everyone would wanna adopt if they just had the chance to. There are a lot of risks sometimes in adopting and its expensive but c'moon, its a human being just like me and you, plus he/she doesn't have a home. I at least will want to adopt some day if I actually decide to have a child. =)   

I wish I had a pet pig or some other interesting animal!

I've been brought up having all kinds of different pets. We have had many cats and kittens continuously, a rabbit, a turtle, a puppy, many chicken and a few pigeon. Lots of these animals have died and then we got some other pet so we didn't have many pets at the same time really. Now that we've moved to another country, we don't have any pets at all. I really really want a little puppy or something one day but yea... in a really long time I guess. If it was easy to have other animals than the basic cats, dogs, hamsters etc. as pets, I would so own a little mini baby pig or a penguin or something else that's adorable.

Just imagine my friends face expressions when they come visit and a cute baby pig runs to me from under all my clothes on the floor as I come home! It would be ADORABLE! You gotta admit that is sooooo cute. I would give it the best home ever and spoil it. I'd maybe even call it muffin! <3 I have decided that if i ever get a pet that super cute and a little chubby, it will be named muffin. 

Also, as I mentioned before, owning a pet penguin. I get it, its illegal and all the rest of it. But what if it weren't and I got to own one of those little penguins they have in South Africa. Oh wouldn't it be nice; it would flap its little wings and run around excitedly. I'm in love. <3 

 

I wish I was Flexible!

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be a ballerina because of the flexible moves and the throws and everything. I don't wanna be a ballerina anymore but I really wish I were more flexible. I've always admired flexible people and when I see someone bend themselves into weird positions, I'm always like =O 'I wanna do that too'. Well sad story, the only thing I can do is a back bend which I'm very proud of. 

I danced pole dancing (as a art) for a while and there I was forced to stretch and I got way more flexible. It was PAIN but I loved it! I'm sure if i stretched for like 15minutes everyday, I'd be able to pull off a split eventually. Well unfortunately I am too lazy for that. I might force myself to start going to deep stretching classes at my gym since I'm getting a gym card tho. There's something to think about for me. But yea anyway, just a quick post of what was on my mind today since I haven't been posting for a while. Now i'll be off to stretch since I got motivated! =D