I wish I NEVER have to talk anyone out of suicide again.

I have mentioned in this blog about loving helping people out and I even put a photo up that said 'talking someone out of suicide.' Lets just say that that 'sorta wish' came true, unfortunately. It was NOT fun. I felt such responsibility and I felt like if that person took their own life, it was my fault. I would have done anything to get out of that situation. I didn't know to do honestly. I just talked and listened and talked and gave advice and told what not to do etc. I kept thinking, should I be calling an ambulance? Should I call their friends? Should I call the police? It was so... distressing. 

I talked with the person for hours at night online even tho I had to wake up really early for work. Every now and then it felt like the person just wanted attention and was making a too big deal about everything, and then it felt like they were fo real again. The next day was absolutely horrible. I didn't know if the person was alive and I felt so so so so so bad. I was in my own world constantly thinking about it and I was extremely stressed out. Words cannot express how I felt. Seriously, NEVER again. 

I found out after a few days that the person was alright but in the hospital and I was sooooo thankful. Seriously thank God for everything being okay. Of course if I get into a situation like this one again, I will stay and help out and listen and try talk the person out of suicide, I mean how couldn't I? But if I could pick then I preferably wouldn't. 

I wish I could save a life one day...

There is a million ways you can practically 'save a life'. Little things can have big effects. Think about it, by donating like 2€ to red cross or some other organisation could help in saving somebody's life, donate blood and you've just saved a life, been there as a listener for someone going through a tough time could prevent them from taking their own life and you wouldn't even know it! There's a million ways. I'm sure all of us have played some kinda role in making someones life better or perhaps even saving a life, but I would love to do something bigger. I'd love to know that hey, I just helped that person take a grip on life again or I just turned that persons life around to the better side. It would be an amazing feeling. 

One feeling I'm pretty sure no one would wanna have is knowing you could have done something, and knowing you can't anymore. For instance thinking that your friend takes their own life and you could have been there and stayed up with them all night but you weren't. I think that would be terrible. It would be awesome to know that you gave someone hope in life again or you where the person who changed their life for the better. I don't hope for a situation like that for anyone, but if there was a situation like that, I really wouldn't mind being there for them. 

Another thing is that people are so uptight and 'i don't care about other people' often, no offence if you fall into this category. But reality is that we can't make it alone in this world. There I said it. And I found an amazing photo (the one above), which says it better than a thousand words. Sometimes we just need someone to be there for us and turn that hourglass once again and we just cant do it alone. So start looking out for other people more I guess. =)