I wish I get a job and don't have to take a loan!

If anyone at any point thought I am in anyway rich or well off or spoiled little brat - you were mistaken. I am a poor student. I want a job that would in some way relate to my future career but it is really hard to find a job in my country (I am going to see my family for the summer). I could take a cleaners job I've done during my holidays (since I was 16) at a hotel but I've injured my back because of it so I don't think it would be too smart of me. So yeah someone please tell me where I'm meant to pull money out of. My friends and family tell me I should just use my student loan but I just don't feel comfortable doing that. I know its completely normal to take the loan and it is meant to support students during their studies, hence the name, but I know I would just constantly think about how much I'm on minus. I'm just not comfortable with the idea. So fingers crossed someone will want to employ me or I'll just have to go back to the hotel for a month at least. I don't want the picture below to me soon. Meh.

Just a little word of thinking with brains here at the bottom. I am really thankful that I am lucky enough to live in a country where I get free tuition fees, I know that a lot of people do not have that luxury. Also tonnes of people are way worse off than me so I should not stress about this. I will end up taking the loan if I don't figure out something this summer but I am stressed about it and this is my little I wish blog so I get to come rage about my life here ;D

P.s Sorry I haven't been posting much lately <3

I wish I'll somehow afford to pay gym, pole dance and aerial hoop classes next university year!!

I love dancing so much! I've done pole dancing before and
absolutely loved it and want to do it again. Best exercise ever; keeps you fit, tones your body, and builds quite a bit of muscle. So yeah I wanna join that when I return to university. The thing is I provide a 100% for myself so where is this money gonna come from? I'm working at the moment and plan to work till the end of summer all the time. I counted my finances approximately and I will have a very tight financial situation. I thought about it tho, I could prioritize what I want to do and health first as in dance classes and gym and then food and then shopping/going out. 

I found out that the pole dancing studio I want to join also has aerial hoops now which got me super exited. This means if I join pole dancing, I can also go to the aerial hoop lessons! Win win for me! I looked at prices and it will be £35 per month and I would commit to 6 months with this mini membership (7 classes a month max). Including this I thought it would be really good to have my gym at the same time as I will need to be super fit to pull these classes off somehow. That adds another £18.99 per month. So £53.99 per month out of my finances. 

I have a feeling I'm gonna take a risk with my finances and dive into this when I get back to university. I will have to manage my finances more than ever and stop useless shopping and make choices with the food I eat and if I can afford to go out or not. But in all honesty, I think I will be so much happier going to these classes. My muscles will always hurt for days but I will feel like I've achieved something after every class and be super happy and of course get very fit at the same time. I just think I might go for this!!! So exited! =D

And a quick word about the photos, amazing isn't it? And no I'm not that flexible - nowhere near a split. But I will go for it and hopefully after the huge amount of stretching at the classes be flexible and be able to do tonnes of stuff! Plus in beginners classes no one really knows what their doing so no worries :)

I wish I wasn't scared to donate blood.

I really wanna donate blood but I'm just not comfortable with the idea. I'm not scared of needles or seeing blood but I just feel uncomfortable. My blood group is O- which is the most precious one because I can donate to any other blood group so I feel like I have some sort of responsibility to donate. Oh, the contradiction of wanting to do something but being too scared. I just hate the feeling of someone taking blood from me, something being taken from my arm constantly and I feel the flow. If it was a few second thing I'd be fine since I can kinda hold my breath and force myself to think about pancakes or something, but this will take quite a while. Oh gosh. =( I will one day force myself to do it tho. Thats a promise. Theres an opportunity to donate at my university on the 28th so I will try get myself mentally prepared for this. Most likely won't happen but I'll try my very best not wuss out. I have that nervous feeling in me already, the same one I get when I go to the dentist or something else thats horrible. Wish me luck with this...

I wish I will suceed in saving a bunch of money!

I have never made a new years promise, and this doesn't feel like one really so I'll just say it's a new years decision. I want to save up money. I would LOVE to have little jars where I put coins and every now and then, maybe even a bill. I would label the jars with different notes what say what I would like to spend that money on. If I could get a good bunch of money in a jar, just imagine how awesome it would be when it comes to using it! I wouldn't have to care how much I'm using since I saved it for that purpose. 

Since I live by myself I think its also a good idea since I'm pretty sure at some point during my studies I'll go bankrupt. I think I'll just have to have a few of the jars not see through so I don't actually see the money. Maybe ill put bills into a glass bottle because its quite hard to get them out without breaking the bottle. But yes, next year I am going to save up money! Happy New Years everyone, I'll also try to post more! <3