I wish I get a job and don't have to take a loan!

If anyone at any point thought I am in anyway rich or well off or spoiled little brat - you were mistaken. I am a poor student. I want a job that would in some way relate to my future career but it is really hard to find a job in my country (I am going to see my family for the summer). I could take a cleaners job I've done during my holidays (since I was 16) at a hotel but I've injured my back because of it so I don't think it would be too smart of me. So yeah someone please tell me where I'm meant to pull money out of. My friends and family tell me I should just use my student loan but I just don't feel comfortable doing that. I know its completely normal to take the loan and it is meant to support students during their studies, hence the name, but I know I would just constantly think about how much I'm on minus. I'm just not comfortable with the idea. So fingers crossed someone will want to employ me or I'll just have to go back to the hotel for a month at least. I don't want the picture below to me soon. Meh.

Just a little word of thinking with brains here at the bottom. I am really thankful that I am lucky enough to live in a country where I get free tuition fees, I know that a lot of people do not have that luxury. Also tonnes of people are way worse off than me so I should not stress about this. I will end up taking the loan if I don't figure out something this summer but I am stressed about it and this is my little I wish blog so I get to come rage about my life here ;D

P.s Sorry I haven't been posting much lately <3