I wish I had the words of wisdom more often.

I realize the more stuff in my own life go wrong, the more bad advice I give to others. The advice I give is what anyone else would and what a person would automatically assume should be done, not what I believe to be right. I feel like if everything isn't okay with me, I easily just don't put my time to help others and instead go with the first thoughts that come to mind. I think this is really selfish of me but I can't help it. A lot of friends have asked for advice on basic stuff during the past few days and I have done so. BUT, afterwards I have had a bad conscious and felt like I haven't given the advice I should have. 

I right now feel like I pretty much shouldn't have much to do with people or just try avoid giving advice till I get stuff in my life sorted basically. So yea, I have being listening to this song a lot in the past few days and feel like this song will be my advice to everything for a while. =D  

I wish I NEVER have to talk anyone out of suicide again.

I have mentioned in this blog about loving helping people out and I even put a photo up that said 'talking someone out of suicide.' Lets just say that that 'sorta wish' came true, unfortunately. It was NOT fun. I felt such responsibility and I felt like if that person took their own life, it was my fault. I would have done anything to get out of that situation. I didn't know to do honestly. I just talked and listened and talked and gave advice and told what not to do etc. I kept thinking, should I be calling an ambulance? Should I call their friends? Should I call the police? It was so... distressing. 

I talked with the person for hours at night online even tho I had to wake up really early for work. Every now and then it felt like the person just wanted attention and was making a too big deal about everything, and then it felt like they were fo real again. The next day was absolutely horrible. I didn't know if the person was alive and I felt so so so so so bad. I was in my own world constantly thinking about it and I was extremely stressed out. Words cannot express how I felt. Seriously, NEVER again. 

I found out after a few days that the person was alright but in the hospital and I was sooooo thankful. Seriously thank God for everything being okay. Of course if I get into a situation like this one again, I will stay and help out and listen and try talk the person out of suicide, I mean how couldn't I? But if I could pick then I preferably wouldn't.