I wish I'd never have to say goodbye again.

I hate goodbyes. I don't think anyone hates goodbyes as much as I do. I'm leaving to be an au pair to Spain for 6 weeks in a few days but I'm leaving my town already tomorrow and therefore have to face a painful goodbye to my boyfriend. We've spent so many days together because I'm leaving and had such a great time together. Today we were walking together and all of a sudden he ran off and picked me a beautiful flower, and that's when it struck me - I'll see him for a very few short hours anymore. I never stress about goodbyes this much but I felt horrible hours before saying good night to him. I know I will still see him tomorrow when he takes me to the bus station but I just started crying in his arms when we got to my place. I cried for ages and regret all my wishes and final decisions of leaving to be an au pair in the first place. I hate good byes. I never ever want to leave my loved ones again. Ever. It's just unnecessary sadness. 

Seeing what I'm like at this stage already, just think about how horrible it must have been back in the day for all the ladies that had to say goodbye to their husbands when they left to war, marines, or anything. In fact, one day I'll  have to say bye when my boyfriend goes to the army but hopefully I'll get to see him every weekend or every second weekend so its not too bad. Either way, I'm definitely not looking forward to the emotional goodbye at the bus station tomorrow. I didn't used to get so upset about this stuff, whats happened to me? I wish goodbyes didn't exist. =(